Inner Dialogue: Hakkajin

[shosen]

She's wound up back in her old room, after clearing out furniture that wasn't just destroyed by time. The small house was too open to the elements, and this is the only place in the large house she ever felt close to comfortable. There's a chest at the end of her bed, emptied after she had left. For some reason, it escaped the rampage that had claimed the rest of the things she left behind.

Her armour now fills it, except for the staff leaning against the wall in the corner. So far the farm has been peaceful, enough that she thinks Kier might be getting a little bored. Even so, she finds herself reaching out to touch the fabric of the robe. Sewn by her own hand, with materials gathered with the help of friends, it's a garment worn only by warlocks. There's a connection through the magic of it, to the demons she summons, and sometimes, she thinks she can feel them through it, even when they aren't on this plane.

*****

"It's just not so easy to turn your back on something like this."

"You stupid or something?"

"What?"

"You just cuttin' something off from you. Ain't like you've gotta keep runnin' around, gotta kill it's servants in front of it. Just some stupid energy, right?"

"Well, no, not exactly."

"Not exactly? Feh, not at all. You see that? That's what I turned my back on. I gotta listen to him every week."

"Yeah, well, maybe that's easy."

"Heh, not just stupid, you're crazy."

"No, yours is out there. You can see him, get others to stand with you to fight him. You can ever strike at his servants, make him weaker bit by bit."

"So?"

"So, mine's just as real, but it isn't out there. It strikes at me, in here. It's just sitting there, inside, waiting for me to make a mistake. It's happened before, and I haven't recovered from that, don't even really know what it did."

"Yeah, so, what you doin' to stop it?"

"I-- what?"

"It's so bad, and you know it, so what you doin' to stop it from hurtin' you when you ain't right there to do it yourself?"

"Um..."

"Nothin' then?"

"Well, I don't... I just, I don't know how..."

"Ya, ‘cause you a fuckin' moron."

"Hey!"

*****

She sits back, moving her hand away from the cloth and pouts. "She's even rude in my head." After a moment, she sighs and stands up. "But she's right."