Diary: Page Thirty-seven
Sep. 26th, 2006 11:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shosenDid we do the right thing? I don't know. Tundrarunner says yes. I don't know.
I'm tired. That wasn't easy. Was already sore. Now I'm sore and tried. Great.
Tabaqui's... looking into things. About him. About Doctor Vines. About me. She doesn't understand why I would be upset by that.
Temptation. I've gotten used to not knowing. Trying to find out, well, that took me bad places. Now... I can't not look. She said the person she hired found something. If it's about be, then I can't not look.
And I'm scared about what happens next.
I've never thought about it, deliberately. I didn't want to know anything about the person whose body I wear. What happened with Olm though... he's still in there, whoever he was.
Mine... what if I'm standing in his way? What if he could reclaim his body if I just... left? I don't want to think about it, but I can't stop.
We, I, just forced a soul where it never belonged in the first place. Too close to home that one. I'd take it out again, if he asked me to. Except, he'd kill me; he said so. Maybe it'd be better to let Andramalech do it and be far, far away.
If he wants it. He might not. Would I? No, not right now at any rate.
Too many presumptions. Too many things. I'm tired.
What if all we did was make everything worse?
I'm tired. That wasn't easy. Was already sore. Now I'm sore and tried. Great.
Tabaqui's... looking into things. About him. About Doctor Vines. About me. She doesn't understand why I would be upset by that.
Temptation. I've gotten used to not knowing. Trying to find out, well, that took me bad places. Now... I can't not look. She said the person she hired found something. If it's about be, then I can't not look.
And I'm scared about what happens next.
I've never thought about it, deliberately. I didn't want to know anything about the person whose body I wear. What happened with Olm though... he's still in there, whoever he was.
Mine... what if I'm standing in his way? What if he could reclaim his body if I just... left? I don't want to think about it, but I can't stop.
We, I, just forced a soul where it never belonged in the first place. Too close to home that one. I'd take it out again, if he asked me to. Except, he'd kill me; he said so. Maybe it'd be better to let Andramalech do it and be far, far away.
If he wants it. He might not. Would I? No, not right now at any rate.
Too many presumptions. Too many things. I'm tired.
What if all we did was make everything worse?