Memoirs: Community
Jan. 11th, 2006 08:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shosenIt was a strange thing to face. Those who used to be your friends, allies, family, now the ones who would strike you down without a thought. I knew it, had known it since the Dwarf had struck me down, but it was one of those things that continued to nag at me. I had hoped that the trip to Elwynn would resolve it for me one way or the other, but it just left me in a worse position. So many who greeted us warmly, and so many others that attacked without provocation. Unless, our presence and existence are provocation enough, which I suppose they are for some. That was a message I could not help but hear throughout the journey, and it should have made it an unpleasant experience.
But I realised that I was beginning, slowly, to recognise people, and more surprising, some recognized me. I did not know how to handle any kind of attention, and I fear I did it poorly, but it was one of the first pleasant experiences I’d had in a long time. In the end, that and the kind reception from those in the Alliance that offered one, raise my mood to the point that I was actually happy. So much so, that I accepted the Dean’s offer of a portal to Orgimmar without a thought. I had been avoiding it since I’d opened the box. Running through to the Wind Ride Tower when required, but nothing more. I had never met the one who’d sent the box, and I’d planned to keep it that way.
I hadn’t realised that I didn’t need to meet her; that someone else would come in her place. Another Troll, and I had no idea how either of them knew my name, or could find me. I only hoped that this one knew less about me than the witch did, and apparently so. I know that I should have been more suspicious, perhaps even merely walked away, but I was lonely. I was not the most approachable or talkative person in the world, and regardless of my reasons, that left me isolated. The concept of a discussion that was not held with a demon was appealing. Ally or enemy, friend or spy, she was company, good company at that. By the end of the evening, I was able to wish her well and mean it, and to hope that we would meet again.
Somehow, without realising it, I had been settling in. Slowly, with no skill or grace, but surely. I could see that, with a little effort, I might actually begin to belong. It was an encouraging concept.
But I realised that I was beginning, slowly, to recognise people, and more surprising, some recognized me. I did not know how to handle any kind of attention, and I fear I did it poorly, but it was one of the first pleasant experiences I’d had in a long time. In the end, that and the kind reception from those in the Alliance that offered one, raise my mood to the point that I was actually happy. So much so, that I accepted the Dean’s offer of a portal to Orgimmar without a thought. I had been avoiding it since I’d opened the box. Running through to the Wind Ride Tower when required, but nothing more. I had never met the one who’d sent the box, and I’d planned to keep it that way.
I hadn’t realised that I didn’t need to meet her; that someone else would come in her place. Another Troll, and I had no idea how either of them knew my name, or could find me. I only hoped that this one knew less about me than the witch did, and apparently so. I know that I should have been more suspicious, perhaps even merely walked away, but I was lonely. I was not the most approachable or talkative person in the world, and regardless of my reasons, that left me isolated. The concept of a discussion that was not held with a demon was appealing. Ally or enemy, friend or spy, she was company, good company at that. By the end of the evening, I was able to wish her well and mean it, and to hope that we would meet again.
Somehow, without realising it, I had been settling in. Slowly, with no skill or grace, but surely. I could see that, with a little effort, I might actually begin to belong. It was an encouraging concept.