Diary: Page Three
Mar. 2nd, 2006 08:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shosenI don’t know what to think.
I spent part of this evening at the Laughing Zhevra. I thought I might see Sakti there, but though there were a few faces I recognised from the Field Trips, there was no one I knew well enough to approach.
Instead, I bought myself a drink (the lady from last week was correct, the Grog is much better there than elsewhere) and decided to simply listen to the conversations. My attention was caught by someone I thought I heard refer to himself as a witchdoctor. As the conversation progressed to matter of the Forsaken’s predilection towards certain less-than appealing mental states, I moved closer so that I could hear better. Not very subtly, as it turns out.
The man’s assistant noticed me, and moved over to talk. By now I’d overheard that he was an actual doctor, and she confirmed that he specialized in treating Forsaken. His name is Juliard Vines (I have to remember that!) and he is... odd. I’m starting to this that’s required in everyone who studies what we are. (I won’t think about what that says about me, I won’t!) Valtenress seems to have a lot of faith in him, however, and he was able to help the strange demon-man that was there. (Poor Pagtuk, all that attention and not a fireball allowed to be thrown.)
It hadn’t occurred to me that anyone but the Apothecaries would be studying us. More than that I’d never thought...
He says we’re still human, just sick. The very idea... it’s scattered my thoughts. I can’t even keep them clear enough to write this coherently. Because if we’re just sick, then we could be cured, and Valtenress says that Dr. Vines is working on just that. She believes he’ll succeed.
And I don’t know what to think. What if he’s right? What if we’re not dead after all? What if...
But where would that leave me? If there is a cure, if I could be human (healthy, whatever), then that can’t be all it was. Human and still not myself, it would be even worse than living like this!
I’m getting ahead of myself. She said he was working on it, that’s no guarantee of anything. (I hope she wasn’t offended when I asked her to use my name instead of “Mister.” Too many times in one night, my thoughts too distracted. I need to be quiet, let it pass by.)
Enough! Enough of this, all of it! It’s still a fantasy, and where have those gotten me before? I’d like to keep in touch with him, but I can’t let it get my hopes up, can’t start chasing storybook tales again. I wouldn’t be able to take it.
I mentioned to Valtenress that it would be interesting to compare Dr. Vines’ work to that of the Apothecaries, and she seemed to agree. The Society full of close-mouthed, tight-fisted people even more paranoid than myself, however. They’d never agree to any sort of collaboration, even if sharing information might take both sides farther.
I wonder...
I spent part of this evening at the Laughing Zhevra. I thought I might see Sakti there, but though there were a few faces I recognised from the Field Trips, there was no one I knew well enough to approach.
Instead, I bought myself a drink (the lady from last week was correct, the Grog is much better there than elsewhere) and decided to simply listen to the conversations. My attention was caught by someone I thought I heard refer to himself as a witchdoctor. As the conversation progressed to matter of the Forsaken’s predilection towards certain less-than appealing mental states, I moved closer so that I could hear better. Not very subtly, as it turns out.
The man’s assistant noticed me, and moved over to talk. By now I’d overheard that he was an actual doctor, and she confirmed that he specialized in treating Forsaken. His name is Juliard Vines (I have to remember that!) and he is... odd. I’m starting to this that’s required in everyone who studies what we are. (I won’t think about what that says about me, I won’t!) Valtenress seems to have a lot of faith in him, however, and he was able to help the strange demon-man that was there. (Poor Pagtuk, all that attention and not a fireball allowed to be thrown.)
It hadn’t occurred to me that anyone but the Apothecaries would be studying us. More than that I’d never thought...
He says we’re still human, just sick. The very idea... it’s scattered my thoughts. I can’t even keep them clear enough to write this coherently. Because if we’re just sick, then we could be cured, and Valtenress says that Dr. Vines is working on just that. She believes he’ll succeed.
And I don’t know what to think. What if he’s right? What if we’re not dead after all? What if...
But where would that leave me? If there is a cure, if I could be human (healthy, whatever), then that can’t be all it was. Human and still not myself, it would be even worse than living like this!
I’m getting ahead of myself. She said he was working on it, that’s no guarantee of anything. (I hope she wasn’t offended when I asked her to use my name instead of “Mister.” Too many times in one night, my thoughts too distracted. I need to be quiet, let it pass by.)
Enough! Enough of this, all of it! It’s still a fantasy, and where have those gotten me before? I’d like to keep in touch with him, but I can’t let it get my hopes up, can’t start chasing storybook tales again. I wouldn’t be able to take it.
I mentioned to Valtenress that it would be interesting to compare Dr. Vines’ work to that of the Apothecaries, and she seemed to agree. The Society full of close-mouthed, tight-fisted people even more paranoid than myself, however. They’d never agree to any sort of collaboration, even if sharing information might take both sides farther.
I wonder...