I Want Tomorrow

[shosen]

The ceremony was beautiful, even with the unexpected interruptions, and those that decided to go cliff-diving afterwards. 'Shaani, marrying the "friend" she'd talked about that first night at the Zhevra. Both of them deciding to face their future together.

How long has it been since I've actually thought of the future?

I've spent so long, even more lately, thinking of the past. I've spent almost a year now, bound to that moment of awakening. I've spent almost no time trying to think about what comes next.

What goals I have are vague themselves or carrying uncertain timeframes: become stronger, bring Sakti back, just exist. I'm in stasis again, as I was when my mother decided I was of marriageable age, as I was when I worked in that damn bar, as I was when I was forced to leave Lordaeron because someone thought he knew what was best for me. None of those situations ended well.

I'm sick of it. I want to look forward to the next day, month, year. I want to stop focusing on what's gone and can never be returned. I want even a portion of the optimism inherent in the wedding tonight.

Everything and everyone I knew are lost or gone, but I'm here. There's hope in that, if I can learn to see it.