Memoirs: Options
Apr. 23rd, 2006 06:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shosenI wasn’t able to be still. I’d woken in the corner of Light’s Hope Chapel with the need to move and just keep going. I searched my memory for any jobs I’d accepted for people that were not part of the Society and went to complete them, no matter where they were. I spent half the day in the air, flying between Horde outposts, and the rest on the ground in places like Dustwallow Marsh and Felwood. The animals in the corrupted areas on the later eventually brought me back to the Plaguelands to make whatever little stab against the Scourge that I could, which landed me in Brill where I collapsed from injuries and exhaustion.
When I woke the next morning, the only tasks I could think of were in the Hinterlands, which meant landing in Revantusk after first going through the Undercity. That was the last place on Azeroth I wanted to be, even if I didn’t go near the Apothecarium. I went though, and forced myself not to run directly to the Bat Handler. I had to learn to be there again, had to accept it, because there weren’t any other options. I stayed as long as I could stand it, and then pulled on my armour as I prepared to fly out again.
I heard Tabaqui’s greeting right before handing over my fare. A chance encounter in my favour for once. She was waiting there for others, off to fight the Scourge in Stratholme, but she had a few minutes to talk before leaving, and I was finally able to answer her question from the last time I’d run into her.
My fear was that there was no way out. That if I tried to leave, a Deathguard would be sent after me, or perhaps just someone like myself. Someone who took jobs without ever really thinking about what they were doing. Borel and Jessa were able to leave, with some difficulty, but they were both important in their different ways. I was unable to think of myself as anything but supremely unimportant. In my estimation, if I vanished, if someone were to kill me, then there were very few people who would even notice.
It was only in talking with Tabaqui that I began to see how that might actually work in my favour. After all, if I just never went back, would they even notice? Although, I also saw the act of actually joining the Society as detrimental to that plan. The punishment of traitors and deserters always made for a good example to the remainder of the population. I needed to know more before I could decide.
Of course, nothing we were discussing at that moment was wise to be talking about in the middle of the Undercity itself, as Tabaqui pointed out. She offered to talk about it later, in a more agreeable location. I was grateful; I kept losing myself in the circles my thoughts were running and a new perspective was needed if I was ever going to find my way out. But the help she offered me was more than just advice, and more than I could have ever expected.
I had entered the Undercity seeing only more of the same, the cage I’d managed to trp myself in closing tighter around me. I left with the knowledge that there were others I could ask for help, an option that I was unused to having. I still had no idea what I was going to do, but for the first time in my life, I felt like I could almost see the path.
When I woke the next morning, the only tasks I could think of were in the Hinterlands, which meant landing in Revantusk after first going through the Undercity. That was the last place on Azeroth I wanted to be, even if I didn’t go near the Apothecarium. I went though, and forced myself not to run directly to the Bat Handler. I had to learn to be there again, had to accept it, because there weren’t any other options. I stayed as long as I could stand it, and then pulled on my armour as I prepared to fly out again.
I heard Tabaqui’s greeting right before handing over my fare. A chance encounter in my favour for once. She was waiting there for others, off to fight the Scourge in Stratholme, but she had a few minutes to talk before leaving, and I was finally able to answer her question from the last time I’d run into her.
My fear was that there was no way out. That if I tried to leave, a Deathguard would be sent after me, or perhaps just someone like myself. Someone who took jobs without ever really thinking about what they were doing. Borel and Jessa were able to leave, with some difficulty, but they were both important in their different ways. I was unable to think of myself as anything but supremely unimportant. In my estimation, if I vanished, if someone were to kill me, then there were very few people who would even notice.
It was only in talking with Tabaqui that I began to see how that might actually work in my favour. After all, if I just never went back, would they even notice? Although, I also saw the act of actually joining the Society as detrimental to that plan. The punishment of traitors and deserters always made for a good example to the remainder of the population. I needed to know more before I could decide.
Of course, nothing we were discussing at that moment was wise to be talking about in the middle of the Undercity itself, as Tabaqui pointed out. She offered to talk about it later, in a more agreeable location. I was grateful; I kept losing myself in the circles my thoughts were running and a new perspective was needed if I was ever going to find my way out. But the help she offered me was more than just advice, and more than I could have ever expected.
I had entered the Undercity seeing only more of the same, the cage I’d managed to trp myself in closing tighter around me. I left with the knowledge that there were others I could ask for help, an option that I was unused to having. I still had no idea what I was going to do, but for the first time in my life, I felt like I could almost see the path.