Inner Dialogue: Tundrarunner

[shosen]

Night is falling, and she's sitting no the step in front of the small house, looking over the field that's about two thirds clear. She should actually be able to finish it before she leaves, and that thought makes her feel happy, proud. The area doesn't seem quite so depressed like this, and she wonders if the stories her father told her were true. After all, she's spent a lot of time with the Tauren now, and the strength of the Ancestors doesn't quite seem like the faery tale she's always considered it before.

*****

"Are the lessons always this hard?"

"It does depend on your willingness to listen, and to learn."

"I don't know if I can listen. I don't hear the wind, I don't see anything in the fire, and I never have."

"Those are not the only available messengers, but you must be open when they speak."

"How do you tell the helpful ones from the malicious ones?"

"The helpful ones will never ask that you betray yourself to follow them."

"Is that what I've been doing?"

"That is not a question I can answer for you."

"Not even like this?"

"Not even like this."

"Damn. It's not like I haven't tried though."

"Yes, but what have you tried?"

"I've tried to accept this. I've tried to let it all go and move on. I just don't seem to be able to go anywhere."

"You always return to the things you thought you had release."

"Exactly!"

"Then perhaps you are trying to let go of the wrong things."

*****

She looks up at the sky, at the stars that seem so bright, and thinks about what she has tried to send off into them. The fire festival, where she burned her Neophyte's robes in an attempt to, well, to try and get rid of not only those self-serving motivations, but the very core of who she was. It would be easier, or so she had thought, to just let that go, and try to match the outside. Only it hadn't worked, because she couldn't force the truth to match the lie.