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shosenMy mother, the human one, always said that Ladies shouldn't fish (along with many other things they apparently shouldn't do.) If I did get my hands on any gear, and she caught me, then it earned a rap over my knuckles with her wand. Trying to practice casting, for so long I could still feel those blows, and it made my progress difficult.
I no longer get that, but my angle is all wrong, arms weaker, and my hands need gloves unless I want to spend a night healing broken blisters. It's worth it to re-learn, though. There's something peaceful to the repetitive motion. Cast, wait, reel, catch a fish or not, start again. It's soothing, and I've need that lately.
I've spent the last few weeks on beaches and shorelines in so many different places. Barrens oasis, the Zoram Strand, Grom'gol, Sen'jin, and then, finally, the Hinterlands. At Revantusk, not quite as unsettling a place as it used to be, but then farther, past the waterfall, the where I lived for such a short time.
There was nothing left now, of that home, of one of the few places I'd actually been happy. The rocks showed the faint scars of fire, but the land was re-grown, recovered.
My father, a farmer to the bone, once compared love to his fields. I am my father's daughter after all, I suppose, as I found myself making a connection between my own broken heart and that recovering place. I can survive this, and new things can grow where everything was once destroyed. It just takes time, and to know that it can actually happen.
That view may have helped a little, going back to work with our disjointed little group. I feel like we've sparked a fire in the centre of us, not the kind that warms and nourishes, but the kind that razzes and destroys. Hurt feelings, sore hearts, confusion, callousness, mistakes and misunderstandings, we've had all of those and more, and it seemed like they would never stop. Leaving Maraudon, I thought we'd finally burned everything to the ground.
Maybe we just scorched the field to allow for new growth.
Leiral though we'd started off on the wrong foot. I tried to correct that, maybe succeeded, but I didn't really explain. I keep my distance from people, I know that. With her and Sylarne, though, I think I kept myself even more reserved than normal. Nenuial's friends, and allies, and I disagreed with her so much, why would I open myself to allow them to reject me on her behalf?
I regret the assumption. Leiral and I are more alike than I'd thought. not so much in how we act, but in the harder to see things, and that's comforting. I can tell her what I fear in opening my heart again, and she understands. I'm not used to that.
I'm also not used to living anywhere other than an inn. Her hut is near Thrall'tukk's and it's comfortable, well-decorated. It's not, transitory, the way the inns are, even if I don't know how long I'll be staying with her.
And that's already been misinterpreted. We're all hopeless, really. Leiral and I perhaps a little more so for not correcting their assumptions, but I have to admit, it's kind of fun. As long as they don't get upset at us later.
But for now, things are calming. Neniual's being sent to the Plaguelands, and we've offered to go help. (Once the Argent Dawn deems us ready to work on their behalf, and isn't that just a little annoying to me. How many Scourgestones will it take for them to trust me this time?)
That's another problem, isn't it? I saw Kowits, briefly, after the Zhevra and he ran from me. Meleen tried to help explain, but she didn't really understand it either. Something about Super Heros, and someone named Sheka, Sheba, Sheca, something like that.
Kowits doesn't seem to believe I'm me, either of me! So far, I've been pretty lucky, but how do I prove, beyond a doubt, that I am Koani? Especially to someone who blinks away when I approach and runs three times faster than I do? Maybe I will send him a letter.
Or see if Doctor Vines will vouch for me. I got so distracted, trying to get strong enough again, I didn't realise how much time was passing. I forgot I was supposed to be going for check ups. I hope he's not terribly upset. I worry about him, though. It was hard enough to get to Darrowshire to visit, but now he's moved to the Outlands. Right now, that makes it impossible for me to visit! I think I really will have to impose upon some friends to try and get myself to Shattreth, even if I can't leave the city walls. So many of the people I care about spend so much of their time there now.
The other night, Nenuial, Siwili, and Uzil dropped by. We all just, talked, about food for the most part. And it wasn't tense, it wasn't about work, it was just, relaxing, fun. I've missed that, so much. I miss my friends.
I understand that things have changed, I do. I just, wish they didn't have to be so complicated.
I no longer get that, but my angle is all wrong, arms weaker, and my hands need gloves unless I want to spend a night healing broken blisters. It's worth it to re-learn, though. There's something peaceful to the repetitive motion. Cast, wait, reel, catch a fish or not, start again. It's soothing, and I've need that lately.
I've spent the last few weeks on beaches and shorelines in so many different places. Barrens oasis, the Zoram Strand, Grom'gol, Sen'jin, and then, finally, the Hinterlands. At Revantusk, not quite as unsettling a place as it used to be, but then farther, past the waterfall, the where I lived for such a short time.
There was nothing left now, of that home, of one of the few places I'd actually been happy. The rocks showed the faint scars of fire, but the land was re-grown, recovered.
My father, a farmer to the bone, once compared love to his fields. I am my father's daughter after all, I suppose, as I found myself making a connection between my own broken heart and that recovering place. I can survive this, and new things can grow where everything was once destroyed. It just takes time, and to know that it can actually happen.
That view may have helped a little, going back to work with our disjointed little group. I feel like we've sparked a fire in the centre of us, not the kind that warms and nourishes, but the kind that razzes and destroys. Hurt feelings, sore hearts, confusion, callousness, mistakes and misunderstandings, we've had all of those and more, and it seemed like they would never stop. Leaving Maraudon, I thought we'd finally burned everything to the ground.
Maybe we just scorched the field to allow for new growth.
Leiral though we'd started off on the wrong foot. I tried to correct that, maybe succeeded, but I didn't really explain. I keep my distance from people, I know that. With her and Sylarne, though, I think I kept myself even more reserved than normal. Nenuial's friends, and allies, and I disagreed with her so much, why would I open myself to allow them to reject me on her behalf?
I regret the assumption. Leiral and I are more alike than I'd thought. not so much in how we act, but in the harder to see things, and that's comforting. I can tell her what I fear in opening my heart again, and she understands. I'm not used to that.
I'm also not used to living anywhere other than an inn. Her hut is near Thrall'tukk's and it's comfortable, well-decorated. It's not, transitory, the way the inns are, even if I don't know how long I'll be staying with her.
And that's already been misinterpreted. We're all hopeless, really. Leiral and I perhaps a little more so for not correcting their assumptions, but I have to admit, it's kind of fun. As long as they don't get upset at us later.
But for now, things are calming. Neniual's being sent to the Plaguelands, and we've offered to go help. (Once the Argent Dawn deems us ready to work on their behalf, and isn't that just a little annoying to me. How many Scourgestones will it take for them to trust me this time?)
That's another problem, isn't it? I saw Kowits, briefly, after the Zhevra and he ran from me. Meleen tried to help explain, but she didn't really understand it either. Something about Super Heros, and someone named Sheka, Sheba, Sheca, something like that.
Kowits doesn't seem to believe I'm me, either of me! So far, I've been pretty lucky, but how do I prove, beyond a doubt, that I am Koani? Especially to someone who blinks away when I approach and runs three times faster than I do? Maybe I will send him a letter.
Or see if Doctor Vines will vouch for me. I got so distracted, trying to get strong enough again, I didn't realise how much time was passing. I forgot I was supposed to be going for check ups. I hope he's not terribly upset. I worry about him, though. It was hard enough to get to Darrowshire to visit, but now he's moved to the Outlands. Right now, that makes it impossible for me to visit! I think I really will have to impose upon some friends to try and get myself to Shattreth, even if I can't leave the city walls. So many of the people I care about spend so much of their time there now.
The other night, Nenuial, Siwili, and Uzil dropped by. We all just, talked, about food for the most part. And it wasn't tense, it wasn't about work, it was just, relaxing, fun. I've missed that, so much. I miss my friends.
I understand that things have changed, I do. I just, wish they didn't have to be so complicated.